Polished and preened Vs honest and raw...

 What are you?  What would you rather be?

When I am not performing (which is usually during the hours of 1pm and 6pm i.e. when I wake up until I go to a gig) I usually dress in trackie bottoms, trainers, a baggy jumper, my current fav being dubbed 'the granny jumper', hair up in a bun and absolutely no make up on.  That is it.  Honest and raw.  Every freckle, vein and pore exposed.  I am comfy that way.  I think I am saying THIS IS ME, IF YOU LIKE ME IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE SEEN ME AND DECIDED FOR YOURSELF.  I try to be as honest as possible in my life, especially to MYSELF.  Anyway, then I need to tart this shit up a bit to play a gig, no one wants to look at a muso-bum-tramp!  So I do my hair (wash my hair) and shovel the make up on.  A process I thoroughly enjoy doing to be honest!  I sometimes do it just when I am bored.  I am a werido.  So, I am going for a version of myself that is a little more asthetically pleasing, I am making an effort.  Last night I played a gig and there was a mix of folk on the bill.  I was really impressed by the musicianship and talent on that stage.  There was the raw straight up in your face talent mixed with a huge dose of really held back, practised, polished and prefect-ified (new word!) performances.

When it comes to my music though I feel that I am still sitting at that keyboard in my joggies.  I've ripped a bit, just a bit, of my heart out and thew it into the audience to inspect.  If I don't function like this I really can't do it at all.  If I don't be totally true to myself, which involves a factor of not caring what people are thinking about the music, then I'd perform like a blown up doll, always checking myself, questioning my movements.  EVERY SONG means the world to me, some a little more than others but like having children, you still gotta love the wee fuckers as much as the cute ones.

I ain't on no express train to the top, no fast track to success course.  I must be real.  I must be real.  

Thanks for reading!  You make it feel real! x





1 comment

  • Marcus James

    Marcus James

    I've only seen you on videos, but you come across as a talented artist enjoying what they are doing. I think thats the core criteria, glam yourself up if you want to, deglam if thats what you want. Either way your music is amazing. Sometimes I wish I was more polished, and didn't look like an tall overweight hillbilly called bubba Or I wish my pesonality was less polished and that I didn't worry how I was perceived.

    I've only seen you on videos, but you come across as a talented artist enjoying what they are doing. I think thats the core criteria, glam yourself up if you want to, deglam if thats what you want. Either way your music is amazing. Sometimes I wish I was more polished, and didn't look like an tall overweight hillbilly called bubba Or I wish my pesonality was less polished and that I didn't worry how I was perceived.

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